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I'm nearing the end of my college career, so I think it's about time to reflect on the past few years of my life and really see what I've accomplished, what goals have been fulfilled, which ones haven't, what I've started, finished, and so forth.

I'd like to start with changing opinions and attitudes towards things. I oft remember stating that the goal in life is to have fun, and I'd say that I still believe fully in that, however I'd argue my actions do not reflect it as I work harder now than before; perhaps I don't work harder so much as I work smarter and so am able to accomplish more complex tasks more efficiently.

I identify as an INTJ, and I think my opinion of that has not changed. My opinion of academia has soured as I draw parallels to the Vatican and where the vast riches that are stored there really ought not to be and could be better managed to ease the burden on those less fortunate (in this case, the students). I originally wanted to focus in optics and nanoelectronics, however there didn't seem to be many/any opportunities in the field here, so unfortunately my goals for furthering that research were not followed. If that path were taken earlier, I would likely go to grad-school pursuing the creation of those devices.

I have made many wonderful friends and met extremely smart and interesting people and it's bittersweet to move on with our lives. It's sad to let go, but it's glad to see that progress and growth never ceases.

I've started two businesses, one failed, and the other is a work in progress. They are projects that are more of a symphony rather than an instrument and I have learned so much from both and I'm excited to see what the future holds for new ventures that I will undertake. I have met so many people through those ventures as well and I'm grateful for all the advice and helpful hands so many have selflessly provided. If I had the means to repay them, I certainly would.

I've learned a significant amount academically as well in both German and electrical engineering. Having backpacked for 10 days in Europe, then for another family vacation in Italy, I can safely say my wanderlust remains wholly unquenched. Learning the theory behind capacitors inductors and transistors is arguably the most helpful thing I've learned about electronics that I've been able to put to use countless times now in both school and personal projects.

Emotionally, I'm not sure where I stand beyond that I have uncovered my absolute hatred of loud freight trains (they are a necessary evil). I have not invested much time or effort into this as much as I would have liked to, and I think my relationship over the past year reflected this as I was unable to conjure up a healthy emotional response for my now-ex-partner. That will need to be remedied in the future as living a lonely life has more detriments than benefits in my opinion.

I also learned how money works much more. I taught myself how to budget back in freshman year, and it's interesting to look through the records I kept then vs now and see how much more complicated my finances have gradually become. Doing this allowed me to save money, time, and many a headache because I worked all through school and saved as much as possible. It's been a fun challenge to see just how far you can tighten your belt (when you have a choice to, not because you're forced to), much like how backpacking is the art of surviving with as little as possible. Saving also allowed me to pay down student loans and start the businesses as well as travel all with peace of mind. I consider myself fortunate to love math and obssess over spreadsheets.

I've gained a numberof new skills and contacts while working as well. I continued with IT post high school, and I still enjoy it very much as a freelance hobby. I fell out of love with it when I first worked with Ames Lab in a highly beaurocratic environment, but with a well oiled team, it's a great experience. I then worked at the Ames airport where I learned about aircraft and kindled a passion for flight. I would highly reccommend such a job to late highschool and early college students, or even those who may be down on their luck in general. Working as a line service person gave me relevant experience to gain a position at Collins Aerospace, where I will be working full-time next year. I've learned much about engineering processes there and I hope to use it more as my career progresses.

As I stated above, I've met so many wonderful people, and only a small handful of less than wonderful people. I feel that my emotional connection with my peers has been not as deep as in high school, but perhaps here it has been more of a focus on quantity over quality. My friends that I've made here may disappear off the face of the planet after graduation, but at least while we're together, they make life a bit more bearable, and I can only hope I've done the same for them.

I am significantly more health conscious now than when first starting college. I've learned to cook, climb, stretch regularily, I walk a lot every day, and I appreciate my health. Breaking my ankle forced me to realize just how much I take for granted, not just in health, but in everything! On the flip side, seeing my mom diagnosed with stage 4 cancer was incredibly terrifying. But seeing her battle endlessly every day going to work and smiling through it all is the most inspirational thing I can think of. And I know I'm biased saying this because she's my mom, but I think even objectively she is the absolute strongest person I know just because of all the shit she has to deal with.

I also got a tattoo that I look at every day. It is an upside down triangle amidst a number of other triangles to symbolize balance and how vital yet difficult it can be to maintain it in such a chaotic world. It keeps me calm and centered and focusing on what is important and truly matters in the moment. Of course, a reminder is only as strong as the person willing to listen, so it doesn't always work (such as with relationships, but I'm still figuring that out). I think in overall mental, spiritual, and physical health I am in the best shape of my life, emotional health has been neglected, but there are only so many hours in the day and it will receive more attention after school is completed.

Overall, I think my life has had an upward trajectory, and I hope I can help others lift themselves to their fullest potential. I want to see the world be a better place, and I think training people to be kind and yet savvy is one step in the process. There are some things that I didn't accomplish that I wanted to as well. I wanted to be a published author, have a large tesla coil working, have a website working without bugs, have a decent income from my business, and to be more social, but perhaps I'm just deluding myself. I've achieved parts of all of those things, and I agree with Yo-yo Ma who said that the good musician stops practicing when he gets it right, the great musician stops practicing when he no longer gets it wrong.